The Ghost Came Back...[1]

Long-term readers of this blog (may God have mercy on your souls) may remember, in the pre-Japan days, in the old apartment on Cooper Street, we had a ghost. In particular, we had a kitchen ghost. Mostly. He occasionally strayed, but spent the majority of his time in the kitchen. But rather than mucking around, opening and closing cupboard doors, throwing pots and pans about, or rattling dishes[2], our ghost had an affinity for electronics, and, in particular, the microwave. Every now and again, our ghostly visitor would set the microwave for either 1:20 (one minute, twenty seconds) or 6:66.[3] And only ever with the touch of two buttons.

I might have ascribed this to faulty electronics; however, a while later, Rion started behaving rather strangely. He started sitting on the arm of the sofa, perched like a gargoyle[4], staring intently into empty space. His gaze would sometimes move quickly around the room, though mostly pointed toward the ceiling. He did this most often in the living room, but also occasionally in other rooms. He would lay still as anything, and then suddenly jump straight up in the air a few feet, then listen some more. I was convinced: The ghost had expanded its territory from the kitchen into the living room, and Rion was tracking it. Dogs are supposed to be more susceptible to sensing paranormal activity, so that had to be the answer.

As Rion's behaviour grew more and more erratic over the next few days, and he responded less and less to our entreaties to fix his attention elsewhere, we grew somewhat worried. Randal went online, and after some research and a posting to an online forum, we had two possibilities: the more extreme "your dog is suffering from psychosis and following imaginary things in his mind" and the positively mundane "as a Jack Russell, his impeccable hearing is tipping him off to mice in the ceiling or walls".

Good God - our dear little puppy, barely two years old, psychotic and communing with the resident ghost!

Then, one windy early summer evening, a storm brewing outside, I was sitting at my little desk in our spare room, when I became aware of an odd sound. I called Randal in, and he confirmed he could hear it too: A faint scrathing sound coming from the wall near my desk. We pulled everything away from the wall[5], and listened. Silence. And then it started again. No holes in the wall...yet. But surely it was only a matter of time before this monster mouse would claw its way out!

After a poor night's sleep, I called the superintendent in the morning and left what was undoubtedly a long and rambling message about the steps I expected him to take in order to eradicate this beast. I also, incidentally, announced our intention to give notice on the apartment.[6] A few days later, he called back to advise someone had been up in the attic to put some traps out (we were on the top floor of the building), but that he couldn't do anything about mice in the walls unless they were actually coming in to our apartment. He was hopeful, however, that the traps in the attic would also solve the mice-in-the-walls problem. I decided that - yuck - I had no choice but to also hold that hope.

That was not the last word ever from the mice - that came a number of weeks later in the form of a "so long, and thanks for all the fish skim milk powder" farewell gift - but it certainly did seem to reduce the dog's strange antics somewhat, if not entirely. And - double yuck - there was no more scratching from within the walls. At least as far as we could tell.

Anyway, long digression to get to the crux of my story, which, I am happy to add, has nothing to do with rodents.

So that was all in May-July of 2006. Flash forward to March 29, 2008, and, specifically, to Earth Hour, 8:00-9:00 EST.

Randal and I timed our dinner so that we would be eating by candlelight and not need to put any lights or or run anything electric. In fact, lights out occurred early, at about 7:45. We cleaned up as best as we could. It was only about 8:15 at that point, so I opened the living room blinds and went to sit on the couch in the dark. Didn't look like a lot of our neighbours were participating in Earth Hour, sadly; I could see lights and TVs on in a few other houses. Randal and Rion both eventually came to join me on the couch. We sat there, all three of us jumbled on the couch in a giant heap.[7] We didn't even talk - we just sat there and listened to the sound of a quiet neighbourhood.[8] Randal and the dog fell asleep. I was starting to feel dozy myself. It certainly gave me a fresh appreciation for why our ancestors, until relatively recently, got up and went to bed more or less with the sun.

All contemplations and ruminations were rudely interrupted at roughly 8:43, however, when the peace was abruptly shattered by two little sounds:

"Beep. Beep."

And then the microwave turned on.

We raced into the kitchen - even the dog - and hit "cancel". Perplexed, we returned to the quiet dark of the living room couch. Ten minutes later, it did it again. This time we had the presence of mind to unplug the microwave entirely. I joked to Randal that if the microwave now went off a third time, then I'd be worried.

So, hurrah - the kitchen ghost is back. I'd missed the old guy. And apparently, the 15 months he'd spent in storage with the rest of our stuff has not agreed with him. Ever since Earth Hour, he's been on a rampage, a ghost with a mission, setting and re-setting our microwave for various random lengths of time, sometimes one incident immediately following the next, and the next, with a ferocity and sense of purpose that is exhausting to me, the poor human trying to keep up with his tricks. Sometimes he even blocks the "Pause / Cancel" key so that I have to actually unplug the microwave in order to get him to cease and desist with his follies.

We have taken, in fact, to leaving the microwave unplugged. But we are only human, and prone to forgetfulness. Just the other day, the ghost set a time of 12 min 15 sec - surely his most remarkable feat to date! ... Until, that is, last night, when he one-upped himself: Rather than the usual two-beep setting, he hit FIVE buttons (count 'em, five) before hitting start. I was in the kitchen at the time, and I saw a rapid succession of things flit across the screen of the microwave - I'm pretty sure "Look behind you" was one of them.[9]

But lest you worry (as I'm sure you were) that we may have stunted the ghost's creativity by once more restricting him to misdeeds on the microwave, oh no, never you fear! He is slowly finding new outlets[10] for his talents...

Three nights in a row last week, no sooner had Rion and I happily settled in to bed for the night than we were disturbed by the sound of something falling to the floor in the bathroom. We went to investigate, and the little shade on the nightlight that we keep on in the bathroom (until Randal turns it off right before he comes to bed) had somehow popped off the nightlight and clattered to the floor. And once, sure; but three nights in a row? How strange.

There have also been a couple of items in the house that, while we were sure we knew where they were, have gone missing; though this, however, I am more willing to ascribe to a failing in our organizational abililities rather than any nocturnal wanderings of our ghost. And Rion's behaviour is as normal as it ever is.[11] But if we start to hear scratchings in the walls, my dear readers, believe you me - you will be the first to know, and there will be hell to pay. Hopefully not literally. Our ghost is a friendly one, like of the Casper variety, not something poltergeisty...

Right? Isn't he? Aren't you, Mr. Ghost? ...


[1] See? I said I would write about this someday!

[2] Which, incidentally did happen once. But science forced me to ascribe it to an earthquake, rather than the paranormal.

[3] I kid. It was only ever 1:20. Though, it would have been doubly-creepy if the ghost had been able to set such a time, eh?

[4] A cute, fluffy gargoyle.

[5] Not an easy feat in that place, as those of you who visited will maybe remember, as it was packed full of stuff.

[6] But in fairness, we were doing that anyway.

[7] We were like dogs in a pack sleeping together - one of us lying this way; another one, that; the third sprawled on top of all the others. I'll leave it to you to imagine who was where.

[8] It really is. What a change from living right downtown. It even feels relatively quiet when there's kids out playing and shrieking in the common area out back. But on this late March evening, when there was still a fair amount of snow on the ground and it was still cold enough outside to make your teeth chatter, no one was about, and so it was quieter than a mouse. There. I promised no more rodents, and it seems I lied.

[9] Actually, when it comes to strange messages on microwaves, I think this one takes the cake.

[10] Pun maybe intended.

[11] Interpret that as you wish. Is a Jack Russell Terrier ever, uh, truly "normal"?