Skits, Rounds 3 and 4

So yesterday I did two more rounds of skits. The teacher I was teaching with this time is one of my favourites; he always seems to come up with good additions and suggestions to my classes.

Well, it turned out that this time, he had raised the skit stakes by telling the class that they could get up to 5 extra points in their English classes through their skit presentations (which, since my class is officially worth nothing, were otherwise also officially worth nothing). So that raised the motivation and desire to do well. Each group was given a marking sheet, where they assigned marks to each of the other groups based on a variety of factors (memorization, use of English, volume, action, etc.).

The results meant the skits were better than the skits from Rounds 1 and 2, though, in a few cases, only moderately so.

Anyway, without further ado, here is Round 3:

Peach Boys - Another modern telling of Momotaro. A boy is born from a peach. Later, he sets off to save his village from a terrible demon, this time with a volleyball (rather than kibidango, a traditional Japanese sweet). He makes two friends (who, coincidentally, are also peach-born boys) along the way, and they go together. The "demon" turns out to be the man who raised Peach Boy. He can't fight and kill his own father, so they play janken (rock, paper, scissors) instead. The old man loses and promises to stop terrorising the countryside.

Unlucky Person - An original drama written by a group of girls about one girl who is very unlucky. She bicycles to school and has an accident - her wheel is broken. Her mother has forgotten to put chopsticks in her lunch. The drink vending machine runs out of her favourite drink right before she gets there. You get the picture. It wasn't very interesting, but I appreciated the effort they had obviously put into it.

CM collection -- Love and hemorrhoids - Truly, I don't make these titles up! This was two guys watching infomercials on TV, so the rest of the group acted out a few scenarios. It was very strange. There were commercials for an energy drink that is popular with airline pilots, a card game called "Life Card" that is well-known here, and, as the title suggests, the obligatory advertisement for medicine to get rid of your hemorrhoids.

Urashima Hanako - Urashimataro is a traditional Japanese fairy tale about a boy who saves a turtle from being bullied by other boys, and in gratitude, the turtle takes him to the Kingdom Under the Sea, where he is wined and dined by princesses. Well, this time, a turtle saves a girl named Urashima Hanako from bullying, and then invites her (the girl) over for dinner. The only problem is, Hanako is going to be the main course! Needless to say, the story does not conclude happily. At least, not for poor Hanako.

Yamauchi School - About a boy named Yamauchi who attends a school also called Yamauchi. Twist is, Yamauchi is a magician, and so is able to stop the terrible bullying of his classmates by others that is going on.

Pirates of Okhotsk - World End - A swashbuckling pirate (dressed in a red T-shirt, jean shorts and a straw hat) saves an unassuming sailor from being mugged. He then demands money. Sailor is shocked that Pirate is not helping others simply out of the goodness of his heart. Pirate shrugs and says, "Them's the breaks." (Or something to that effect.) FYI, Okhotsk is the name of the sea between northern Hokkaido and the (disputed) Russian Kuril islands.

Intel & Life Card - A story about a boy who wants to become an entrepreneur and start a business that will make lots of money. Or, as one of the actors put it, "Shall we success from scratch?" Yes, let's.

TV Shopping - Another infomercial. This time, the exciting item for sale was an electronic dictionary. They lacked energy, but they had the patter down quite well: "I don't believe it! You can look up words fast? But this must be very very expensive." "Actually, it is just $199.99!" "Really?" "No way!" "Wow! That's incredible!"


Most Memorable Scene : Yamauchi the Magician points dramatically at his classmate and, in a loud voice, incants the magic words, "Mountain fire!" There is a pause. The boy upon whom a spell has been cast starts to giggle and makes urgent pointing motions toward one of the other boys. Yamauchi is momentarily confused, but then recovers and says, "Oh, uh, Mountain FIRE!" while pointing at the boy he was supposed to cast the spell on (the bullier, not the bullied). The class erupts into laughter.



And, Round 4:

Anpanman - Anpanman is a popular cartoon character, and I've written about him before. He is a superhero who is actually bread with bean jam (anko) in the middle (quite tasty, too). Today, Anpanman was called upon to save none other than ME (played quite convincingly by one of the girls) from the evil clutches of Mr. Miyagawa, the English teacher for that class (also played quite well by one of the other girls). It was just hilarious.

Goku vs Majin Boo - I don't pretend to understand this one, because I didn't, but it was obviously something all the students are familiar with. An epic battle between Goku and Majin Boo. This skit wins the Prize for Best Use of Chalkboard Visuals - one of the boys' main jobs in the skit was to draw the laser beams and magic and so on that was flying back and forth between the two foes.

Hally Potter [sic]- These guys were originally going to do Star Wars, but changed their minds when it turned out another group was doing Star Wars. They did the scene from one of the Harry Potter books where they are practicing the "Experience" spell. Which, in this case, caused the person upon whom the spell has been cast to launch into a mean tap-dance routine. It wasn't very well-prepared, there was a lot of fevered whispering back and forth in Japanese, but the dancing was great!

Big Eater Alice : Kuishinbou Alice - Alice can't stop eating, and when she sees a white rabbit, she decides she wants to eat it, too! The rabbit convinces her to eat some cookies instead. Turns out the cookies belonged to the Queen, and as you can imagine, the Queen is not amused.

Super Police Billy - About a police officer, Billy, who is obsessed with his muscles. He goes off to check a problem at a pet shop, where he meets a man with even better muscles. This man goes to boot camp every day. They decide, then and there, to start their own boot camp. But they must also learn English, so they forcibly enroll Mr. Miyagawa and me in the boot camp as well. The strangest shuffle-dance I have ever done then ensued.*

The 3 Little Pigs - After the 3 little pigs' mama dies, they must make their own way in the world. But #1 is lazy, and builds a straw house. #2 is shy and afraid, so she goes to live at a friend's house and never leaves home. #3 builds a house made of sweets. The big bad wolf comes by and is hungry. He blows the straw house done and pig #1 runs away. He delivers a pizza to the friend's house, and that is the only reason why pig #2 opens the door. She runs away. But at house #3, the wolf gets distracted from thoughts of pig by the sweets smorgasbord that this house provides, and starts eating it. The wolf gets a toothache. Pig #3 gives him some medicine that makes him feel better, and out of gratitude, he vows to never eat pigs again. They all live happily ever after.

A Peach Girl - A strange take on Momotaro. Peach Girl is born the usual way, and sets off to kill a demon. On the way, she meets a giraffe. She feeds the giraffe parsley, and they set off together to Onigashima (where the demon lives). (Oni means ogre, actually, but only rarely do the students seem to use/know this word). When they get to the demon's lair, they decide - surprise, surprise - to janken. In recognition of her loss, the demon presents Peach Girl and the giraffe with a giant box of parsley. Peach Girl claims it is not as good as her own "home-grown" parsley, so the three set off again to do a taste-test.

Kasazizou - Jizou are the small stone statues that you often see along roadsides, just outside cemeteries, etc., in Japan. This is a traditional tale about an umbrella maker who doesn't sell any umbrellas that day in town (other times, the story is about a scarf maker). Saddened, he (she, actually, in this case) sets out for home. He passes some jizou on his way and thinking they look cold and wet, puts an umbrella over each one. That night, he hears noises outside - it is the jizou who have come to say thank you.

Star Wars Episode 7 - Darth Vader somehow manages to be resurrected in order to fight Luke Skywalker, the "Champion of Justice, and Soldier of Jedi", one last time. Best Use of Weaponry: Automatically-extending umbrellas in place of lightsabers.


Best Blooper of the Class: Following in the footsteps of Yamauchi from the earlier class, when Peach Girl challenged the demon to playing janken in order to determine the outcome of the battle between them, the demon played rock, smashing Peach Girl's scissors. Oops. Giggles and a rematch ensued.



The cast of Anpanman!


* I have since learned, in one of my 1st-year classes today, in fact, that "Billy's Boot Camp", upon which this skit seems to have been loosely based, is a series of weight- and strength-training DVDs. Who knew?

Skits, Round 2

Today's offerings were not as stellar as yesterday. They also, despite my best efforts to drag out the proceedings as long as possible, finished well within the class time (aka, the skits were mostly all too short). This meant I had to spend the last five minutes in an improvised conversation with the teacher, and it was just brutal:

K-sensei: "Uh, Julie-sensei. You are going back to Canada in a few weeks. You have been teaching at Gifukita for almost one year. Uh, what is your impression of Japan?"

Me: "Ohhh, Japan is very...uh, interesting. The culture is very different. The people are very kind. blahblahblah different from Canada blahblahblah students work hard blahblahblah." I'm not sure what I said but I was cringing as I said every bit of it, as it was SO cliche.

K-sensei: "Uh, OK, thank you."

[He checks his watch. I check my watch. 4 minutes left. Damn!]

K-sensei: "Uh, Julie-sensei. What is your plan in Canada?"

Me: "Uhhh, I should have a plan???" I stammered something about not knowing yet (good one - make them think you're leaving Japan because you must escape while you still can, NOT because you have an actual reason to go home) and some drivel about if any of the students are ever in Canada in Toronto or Ottawa to please visit me. Ugh.

K-sensei: "Uh, OK, thank you."

[He checks his watch. I check my watch. 1 minute left. Damn!]

K-sensei: "Let's finish early. Owarimasu!"

Thank God.


Anyway, enough about me. Here's today's offerings:

Akazukin - This was fairly well-done, but it never ceases to amuse me that the Japanese are convinced that Little Red Riding Hood is, in fact, a traditional Japanese fairy tale. They are always shocked when I tell them that I, too, know this tale. This, despite the fact that, in Japan, you can't find a pumpkin pie to bring to grandmother's house to save your life.

Modern Momotaro - Peach Boy again. But this time, grandfather went to play pachinko (instead of to the forest to cut bamboo) while grandmother went to do the washing, not in the river, but at the coin laundry. Then grandmother went shopping for groceries and brought home fruit for dinner. But she forgot the laundry! So grandfather goes to get it for her, and he finds a baby floating in the washing machine! The plot thickens.

We Are Puppets! - Sounded suspiciously like a story I remember from a junior high textbook, except the English wasn't perfect enough to be directly copied. A boy dreams of 5 puppets, who try to convince him to leave school and become a puppet like them. He doesn't like school but he does like his World History class teacher (the puppets don't like history), so he decides to stick it out as a human boy.

Let's Go On A Picnic! - Another skit that sounded like something you'd find in a junior high textbook. 5 boys meet and after talking about food they like, decide to have a picnic the next day. Who will bring what? Where shall they picnic? Dramatic levels ran high.

Doraemons - Doraemon is a hugely popular anime character here. After the 6 girls introduced themselves each as one of the show's characters, they launched into a dastardly plot to convince me (yes, me) to not leave Japan for Canada. But they decided that was not nice, and gave me a gift instead: a big thank you. It sounds cute, and it kind of was, but it was also TOO SHORT (about 90 seconds long).

Harry Potter - These girls did the scene in the first book where Harry first figures out how to fly. They brought brooms! (But were in the end too shy to use them...) This skit had the Best Commercial Plug of the Day: "Oh, Harry! You're wonderful! You're wonderful! ...And remember, the new Harry Potter movie opens on July 20, so why don't we all go see it together? The end!"

Hero X Satan - This skit started with a lengthy caveat emptor all in Japanese which I couldn't get them to translate (turned out later to be: "We are sorry. We did not do a speaking skit. We are now going to tell you a story.") 5 boys each told a long story about how they used to be a hero but then had a brush with Satan ("Sah-tan") and now their heroicism is diminished. OK, I didn't really understand this one. I think it's a boy's thing. (The boys in the class seemed to enjoy it, but the girls all seemed slightly perplexed.)


Best Line(s) of the Day, from Modern Momotaro:
Grandmother: "What's that baby?"
Grandfather: "He was in the washing machine."
Grandmother: "You ... you're joking!" [She hits him.]
Narrator: "They fighted for three hours."


Stay tuned, next week, for more Tales From The Skits!!!

Skits, Round 1

Two weeks ago, I gave my ninensei (second-year, or gr. 11) students an assignment to write and prepare skits, to be performed in our next class, which was also our last class.

Despite it being MY idea to do skits, I was simultaneously absolutely dreading what the students might come up with. The few times I have attempted to give ninensei anything even resembling homework, the result has been pretty shoddy. However, a few of the teachers had expressed enthusiasm about doing skits, so I figured I'd give it a whirl.

Skit presentations got underway today, and I'm pleased to report that they were pretty good! Of course, having prepped myself for extreme disaster, there was no way but up, so to speak. There was just about the exact amount of giggling and horrid, awkward dead air that I expected, but most groups had obviously put at least an ounce-and-a-half of effort into their skits. Almost no one memorized all their lines, like I'd asked them to, but they did a good job of reading their lines with, for once, some emotion and a modicum of acting, unlike their usual robot selves.


Today's offerings:

Thank You From the Crane - Japanese fairy tale about a young girl who comes to live with a childless man and woman, and weaves them beautiful silk clothes. She turns out to actually be a crane that the man had saved from a trap a while before. The English was a bit too perfect, leading me to wonder if someone's English tutor helped out with it (though one of the girls in the group does have quite good, startingly accent-free English), but I don't care..

Peach Boy - Another fairy tale, about a boy who is born from a peach to a childless man and woman (a recurring theme). He eventually goes off to save his village from ogres that are threatening the area, bringing along with him his companion warriors of a dog, a pheasant, and a monkey. Best Fight Move of the Day: Peach Boy pointed dramatically every time she said "I am fighting the demon ... fight ... fight."

Cinderella & The Witch - Quirky spin on the well-known tale, complete with girly voices by the 6 male actors (spawning many giggle-fits, of course). A highlight was the offering of the brown glass slipper (their own indoor school slippers), as well as the request for a dress for the dance (but alas, no costumes).

LIFE - Quite surreal, maybe in part because they didn't seem to have practiced very much. A made-up story about a boy who kept running into people (who may or may not also have been him; I couldn't tell) in a strange forest. At the end, everyone goes for sushi dinner.

We Are Looking For Something - 4 girls each looking for a treasure (grandmother, rabbit, etc.) and one girl from outer space (or somewhere) who admits to having stolen them, but in return, she gives them lasting friendship. I think for everything else, there is MasterCard. Wins the prize for Best Acting: during a mock-fight, one of the girls actually crashed into a desk (by accident) when she pretended to be thrown! Very dramatic - the audience gasped in horror!

Three Wishes - My ESS leader's group, and they didn't seem very well-prepared, or perhaps inordinately shy (with the exception of Natsuki herself, who is a character and then some). A traditional tale: A man and woman find a genie who agrees to grant them 3 wishes. The man wishes he had some good sausages, and after his wife taunts him with his stupid choice, he wishes her nose were a sausage. You can guess what the third wish is.

ISHIKAWA the movie - Hilarious and pretty well done, if a little chaotic. Lots of giggling in this one (boys are worse gigglers than girls in this country). Ishikawa-kun, one of the students in the group, is a "Champion of Justice" (his words). He saves a woman from two attackers with guns...but then she later turns out to be a man. They shrug it off and, figuring justice was still done, go for sushi dinner together.

Pumpkin Girl - Same story as Peach Boy above, but with crossovers into Cinderella. It was well-written, but they didn't quite get the concept of "skit", telling the story ("then he said X") rather than acting it out, though they seemed to realize their mistake and made a few feeble attemps at actions.


Finally, the "Award for Best Line of the Day" goes to ISHIKAWA :
"Oh, no! You've shot me! You've shot me! You've ... [tastes his fingers] Mmmmm, tomato sauce. How tasty!" :)

(Soon to be) On the road again...

So those of you who actually pay attention to these things (and who read my blog on my blog and not on Facebook's feed) might have noticed that Randal and I are headed to Mt. Fuji in about 10 days. We're going the weekend of July 6, though we haven't decided yet exactly which day we shall climb it. Or, rather, I should say which night we're going to climb it, as we plan on doing the classic climb-overnight-and-arrive-at-the-summit-in-time-for-sunrise hike.

Anyway, there are two problems with the Mt. Fuji hike:

#1:
It's probably going to be crappy weather. We had dinner on Saturday with one of Randal's teachers, and we were telling him and his wife about our Fuji plans, and after telling us some horror stories about climbing it (it's not easy), they started worrying that tsuyu was likely to unleash its fury upon us at the same time. It is that time of year. Ugh. Sounds delightful.

#2:
I'm probably going to die partway up. While, since my arrival in Japan, I've been bicycling more than I ever did in all my life to this point, I don't generally feel I've been as active as I was at home. I even started jogging about a month or so ago - the last thing most people probably ever thought I would do! - and while it is somewhat enjoyable, I am, to be honest, not very good, nor committed, to jogging. I'm hoping sheer determination will get me up that mountain. After all, that's pretty much all I've got!


In other, non-Fuji and non-rain news, plans are starting to solidify for our return home. Our last day of work is July 27. On July 28, I am moving out of my apartment. Randal plans to do the same on either the 28th or 29th. We'll get a hotel in Nagoya. On July 30, we are flying to Thailand! The plan is to spend about 2 weeks in Thailand, and 2 weeks in Laos. I can't wait. I love Thailand, and Laos sounds fascinating. Then, on August 29, we fly back to Nagoya.* Then, on the 30th, we fly home to Toronto via San Francisco.

As if that wasn't enough, after a few days in Toronto, we're heading to Winnipeg - either by plane or by car - to visit Randal's family and collect our pooch. Probably about 2 weeks there, and then back to Toronto. After that, we don't know: Ottawa is looking like the more likely option these days, though I have recently applied for a few Toronto jobs, so we'll see.


I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Either that, or it's 12:21 a.m. and well past my bedtime. ...Ah yes, the latter. Urgh.


* Before you have a chance to ask, our tickets home to Canada are paid for...as long as we fly from Japan.

Earthquake...minus the earthquake bit

This morning at school, we had an earthquake drill!

As if that wasn't exciting enough, we all got to wear our indoor shoes not only OUTSIDE, but to the dirtiest, dustiest part of the school grounds, the sports field behind the school (the designated evacuation area)!

I now feel like I've truly experienced Japan.*


* It was a nice break to the day. I also couldn't believe that 1,000 students could clear out of a building so fast - in less than 5 minutes. I was walking with a bunch of non-English-speaking Japanese teachers, and they taught me the word for earthquake (which I already actually knew), jishin, and asked me if we had earthquakes in Canada (yes in some parts of the country, but none so big that we EVER have earthquake drills). Then, for some odd reason, they followed up the earthquake drill with a 20-minute awards ceremony for students who had recently won honours in karate, track and field, broadcasting, and handball. All under the bright, blazing sun. In my indoor shoes, outdoors. Crazy.

V for Volleyball

When I was in high school (long, long ago), we played the same four sports every year in gym class - soccer, basketball, volleyball, and softball - with a bit of badminton and (urk!) dodgeball thrown in for variety. Not being the most athletically-inclined duck out there, I tended to loathe gym class. But volleyball in particular holds a special place in my heart - I hated it so much, I was actually thrilled to see spring roll around, when we were sent outside in the damp spring chill to play softball. At least with softball, you can stand in the outfield and know that you're fairly safe from the wrath of most balls (at least, you are if I'm at bat).* With each volleyball class, on the other hand, it was a down-and-dirty competition between my best friend and I to see whose arms more closely resembled a lobster post-game; aka, who was worse.

So, a few weeks ago, when I was asked whether I wanted to join the teachers' volleyball team, I breached Japanese protocol and laughed. Long and heartily. Then, having regained my composure, in a mix of Japanese and English (it was a non-English teacher who asked me), I made it perfectly clear : "Juri - baréboru - damé, damé - watashi wa ... very, very bad." (I'll be bilingual in no time, I'm sure.)

Whew. Having dodged that bullet, I went back to my less-than-spectacular life. Then last week, chatting with one of the English teachers after teaching a class with her, I speculated that perhaps her students - who were normally quiet but that day had been somewhat rowdy - were looking forward to the sports day that we were having the next day. Yes, she replies, and then says something about volleyball.

Uh. Yes, I heard right. Sports day is actually going to be volleyball. All day. Oh, crap.

We had a sports day back in early September, and it was so much fun. My memories of "sports day" from my high school days (we called it "field day") is a mish-mash of track-and-field events (relay races, javelin-throwing, and a game of basketball or two), a day in which most students sloughed around trying to figure out how to avoid the high jump or ring toss. Not so these kids, and not so this past sports day. They had been split into 4 teams (of about 250 kids each, mind you; almost as big as my entire high school!) and had spent the better part of the previous week under the tutelage of the student cheerleader teams, learning chants and cheers for the pep rallies that would form part of the sports day (practicing one to two hours a day). They played capture-the-flag, giant games of tug of war, "windsurfing", and much more, with just a bit of relay racing in the late afternoon. And lots of cheerleading, of course.


The always-popular "Piggyback Fights".

But volleyball all day? Ugh. In addition to my general dislike of volleyball, Randal had had to endure a sports day last fall that was entirely volleyball, and he was not pleased to report back that it was B-O-R-I-N-G. I wasn't therefore looking forward to it; however, I figured I was willing to watch. Really, I mean, it's not like I had any choice.

***

Well. Who knew volleyball could be so much fun?



I forgot that when my school does something like this, they tend to go all out. Here, second- and third-year students had decked out their gym uniforms with various themes. It was hilarious just to walk around all day and see what I could find.









As for the volleyball itself, there were something like 40 games going on at any one time (until the elimination rounds started in the afternoon), so there was always something to watch.



See the entire set here.


*Honestly, it's a miracle I ever passed gym class and was allowed to graduate.

Random thoughts

So Randal said it best. I advise you go read his post first; I'm going to make some random comments about life and living in Japan, and our decision to not recontract.* He covers the general reasons very well. I'm going to talk more about teaching, and also a bit about Japan.

I haven't blogged a lot about how I like living in Japan, for the simple reason that, well, I don't think I really do. I like Japan. Gifu is even okay some days. I like teaching. My school is fine. There are a number of gems among my students, and every now and then, something happens that makes me feel GREAT about teaching there.

For example, last week I found out that two of the 3rd year students who have been coming to see me for the past month or so for a bit of extra help with translation work and conversational practice (I don't teach 3rd years at all, so this was nice) in anticipation of university entrance exams, BOTH got accepted into the Tokyo University of Foreign Languages (one to study Portuguese and the other, Polish), which is apparently a very difficult university to get into. That was nice.

The reason I usually give to other JETs when they ask me why I chose to not recontract is that my job is unfulfilling. (I didn't tell my school this, as I don't think they would have understood; a bit of a selfish Western concept. I simply told them that I wasn't in a position to commit to what was, in effect, another 18 months in Japan. That is also true.)

I like teaching. I have been lucky enough to do some teaching twice in the past - at Dalhousie, when I was assistant teacher for an undergraduate course in communications, and, of course, last year, when I taught a first-year law school course in legal research methods. Also, when Randal and I took a short certificate course in TESL methods in Jan 2006, I ate it up.

However, I just don't enjoy teaching in Japan as a JET. Though I am luckier than some others, in that I am pretty much given free reign with my lesson planning, teaching what I wish and what I think is important, most of the time I feel like I am more The Resident Gaijin - amusing, but a sideshow to the real work of learning and teaching English.

English is a mandatory course at all junior and high schools in Japan, for all grades, but there's a major disconnect between what the Ministry of Education says and what actually gets implemented at school level. Reading and writing are taken very seriously, in a let's-learn-English-the-way-they-used-to-learn-Latin kind of way. But speaking! Let's leave that to Julie. Oh, and let's make her class worth NO MARKS so the students know it's as important as dirt. I'm at a high school which is quite academic - we're the second-ranked school in the prefecture, and most of our students go on to university. However, being smart doesn't mean these kids WANT to learn English.

I come from a bilingual country. Most provinces allow you, at some point, to stop learning French if you should so choose. (Quebec is an exception, for understandable reasons, and you must take French every year; but note that students at French schools must also learn English every year until graduation.) The onus is then upon YOU to decide whether or not you want to become fully bilingual; that is, whether or not the second language (in some cases, of course, it is a third or fourth language) will be useful to you in the future. I think this is smart, and I think Japan could learn a lesson or two from this.

Part of the problem, I think, is that, in Japan, the group is more important than the individual. Always. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down, is a well-known expression. In education, this translates to everyone learning the same thing at the same pace. Of course, they are streamed and re-streamed at various levels (the JHS students write tests to get accepted into various HS, depending on their academic level and career goals; students at my school can focus on science\math courses, or just take a general curriculum), but accepted to a school or university, everyone is pushed through at the same rate. It's really perplexing, and it doesn't work.

It also drives me batty a lot of the time.

Other than work, Japan is okay. There are many days where I wish I could go into a store and NOT have the store clerk say, "Irrashaimase" ("Welcome, thanks for shopping") and then blush furiously and avoid my gaze when he/she realizes I am not Japanese (and break into a sweat if, god forbid, I have to ask a question, which I only ever do if I'm fairly certain I will understand the response). Also, and don't tell my school I said this, but I don't really like a lot of Japanese food. I didn't think I was a picky eater. But they do weird things to vegetables, and are fond of weird cuts of meat. Ebi (shrimp) is virtually impossible to avoid (I'm getting almost fond of it...almost), and eating ika (squid) and tako (octopus) are, unfortunately, national pastimes. Mostly, however, it's the vegetables. No more tsukemono! Not every vegetable is improved by being pickled. Ugh.**

Anyway, I wanted to keep this short and I did not.

Before everyone freaks out and thinks I am miserable here, I am not. I find small moments, small tasks that give me some satisfaction. I plan on enjoying my last 5 months here. I want to do a good chunk of traveling, both in Japan and elsewhere. There are a number of things I still want to see and do. But could I do this for another 18 months? NO.

In other words, I'm looking forward to coming home, but I'm glad I'm not leaving next week. I think that's key.


So what's next?

When we return to Canada (we don't know which city yet), I want to go back into a library, and hopefully one where I can do teaching/training (not necessarily an academic or law library). I've even toyed with the thought of - gasp! - working in a public library for a bit, just to get the experience.*** Or maybe not. Anyway, I'm lucky, since, unlike many other JETs I know, I'm already highly employable in a profession I truly like. I would be interested, however, in teaching part-time at a private English school once I return home, if at all possible. I really do like TESL teaching. I'm also interested in maybe, maybe, maybe, at some point (in a year or two), doing some further studies in the educational field (like a Master of Curriculum Studies or something). Just ideas. I am also lucky in that, with my library training, I am qualified to work anywhere in the world, and I hope to someday be able to take advantage of that fact. If you hadn't noticed, I like to travel.


I am now going to amuse myself (and hopefully you) by posting some random pictures to Flickr.


* Or not-so-random. If your name is Mark Reynolds, please don't blow my cover by pointing out that many of the thoughts I have set down here are stolen almost word-for-word from an email I sent you back in January.

** Also, Canada has better sushi. Yup, I'm definitely a 3 on Randal's Re-contracting Regret Scale.

*** Public libraries scare the frick out of me. I'm not sure why. It seems to me that you'd need to be smart and quick-thinking as all hell to survive as a reference librarian in one, however.

An exercise in frustration...

So the Japanese are notorious for being indirect. They don't have words in their language that mean exactly "yes" or "no". No never quite means no here. Sometimes it means yes. Sometimes it means yes but. Sometimes it means yes maybe. It can be a little frustrating sometimes trying to pin someone down to a definite answer.

I have encountered this on many small occasions, and found it amusing more than anything. But I have also found myself avoiding asking someone a question because I feared it would lead to the awkward song-and-dance Japanese people do when they're going to have to refuse you something but don't want to.

Well, this afternoon, I had to ask my supervisor a question about vacation - specifically, Randal and I were planning to go away for a week (in which I knew there was nothing special planned, nor classes or anything). If I could extend our vacation by one day, it would be much cheaper for me to fly home. So I ask her if there is anything special going on that day.

"Graduation ceremonies," she says, "but ahhh, maybe, I don't know, maybe you don't have to be there but maybe you do."

"Oh, graduation ceremonies," I say. "That sounds like something I should be there for, no? All the other teachers are going to be there, no?"

She hemms and hawws and finally we find ourselves consulting with one of the vice-principals (unfortunately, the one who I usually deal with was away today, though from previous experience, his song-and-dance routine is as well-developed as the other's, so that would have made no difference in the whole fiasco).

"Ahhh, hmmm, uhhh, well, it is graduation and there will be farewells for teachers who are going to be transferred - it will be their last day here - and, ahhh, you say it's cheaper if you fly home that day rather than the day before? Well, ahhh, how much cheaper?"

Already I have been squirming and trying to get out of this conversation. If they want me to be there for graduation, I will be there. I think I should be there, though I don't actually know any of the third-years who are graduating. But I'm part of the staff and it seems proper for me to be there. If I had realized graduation ceremonies were that day (I get a schedule but it's all in Japanese, and I always have a difficult time pinning anyone down on what any one item on it is - I guess I just missed that one or gave up before getting there or something), I wouldn't have even entertained the thought of the cheaper flight.

I try to explain to them that I should be there for graduation ceremonies and that I will therefore take the flight home the day earlier. That should have solved things, right? Ah, but you forget I am in Japan. This results merely in more squirming and, finally, from kyoto-sensei (VP), "Ahhh, well, if your flight gets in earlier in the day, on Monday, say in the morning or early afternoon, you can skip the ceremony, which is in the morning, and come for the farewell parties that evening."

My supervisor quickly interjects, "If you want to come to the parties, of course. You don't have to. They will cost some money."*

I assured her as long as the farewell parties that night didn't cost tens of thousands of yen (hundreds of dollars), I'd be glad to go since I know some of these teachers who are transferring,** but that, since the graduation ceremonies were so important, and all the other teachers were going to be there, I would just pay the higher fare and come home a day early since I understood this was important.

No, no, not so important, I am reassured.

But this is the Japanese way of talking. They say it's not important, but it is. And all I wanted was for one of them to say, "No, you should be there. Come home on Sunday. It's important for you to be there." Since I had already said 7 times, "OK, I'll come home on Sunday then," one would think that this would be easy enough to say without losing face.

One would think.

Argh.

Anyway, the upshot of the whole thing is that now Randal and I are re-evaluating whether or not we are going to Hokkaido that week or not. We want to, but it will cost us almost as much to go to Hokkaido for one week as it did to go to Bali for two! So we might just go somewhere else that week and go to Hokkaido later...like the day AFTER graduation ceremonies.

Double argh.


* The teachers were all surprised when they found out, a few weeks ago, that I'd agreed to pay about 8,000 yen (~$80) for a gift and dinner party for our principal who is retiring at the end of the month. The party is this Friday. Again, I figured as a member of the staff, I had a duty to be there.

** Actually, we don't know who is being transferred yet, so maybe I won't know the teachers being transferred (since there are so many of them and I only know maybe half). Every three years or so, teachers are rotated to different schools. I'm not sure why. If you ask, vague comments about the efficiency of the Japanese education system are made. Teachers are shocked when I tell them in Canada, many teachers spend their entire career in one school.

Capping off the week

Capping off the week for pure farce (yes, I know it's only Tuesday) is the email I got on Monday evening from a girl I know who works at the Board of Education head office in Gifu. She was reviewing the computerised version of our recontracting decisions (Yes/No).

Subject: Re-Contracting Question for Julie!

Hi Julie-

We have on our forms here at the kensho that you ARE re-contracting. In a previous email, you had told me the you were not going to stay another year.

So just for the record, I need to tell them in case a mistake was made (not a big deal, it's a matter of a few computer clicks away on excel).

Are you and Randal re-contracting or not?

Just let me know when you can so I can set it all straight.

Thanks.

I laughed so hard I almost fell off the couch. After all the fuss and nonsense of the whole to-recontract-or-not-to-recontract, it seemed someone had hit the wrong key over at head office and had decided I must have been deluded when I said no, and that what I had really meant was yes. Just too funny.

Apparently what JET doesn't tell you is that it's actually the Hotel California. LOL.

It's official.

We have joined the not-so-exclusive club known as One-Year JETs.

We almost recontracted. We agonized all last weekend over whether we should recontract or not. I handed in my form saying "no" on Monday. My school was disappointed. So was I, to be honest. Then Randal and I almost asked to have our forms back (he handed his in on Tuesday) so we could change our answer. But, in the end, we chose not to. We like Gifu alright; our schools are good and the job is somewhat enjoyable (more for him than for me - I feel slightly unfulfilled with the job here, despite being well-used). But there was just no way we could commit to another 18 months here (6 remaining on our current contract, then another year's worth).

We're not 100% sure we're coming straight home yet - we might try a few months of living in Tokyo or elsewhere - but I'll keep you posted as to when those welcome-back parties should be planned.

Nothin' like a good book or two or nine

We had a mid-term conference for JET on Friday. The conference itself was pretty forgettable, as they tend to be. But the book sale which was also going on there (JETs could donate books which were then re-sold for cheap).

So here's What We Bought and Why (in no particular order other than this is how they are currently stacked up on my living room floor):

1. Tom Holt, Mighter than the Sword = Because I enjoyed Falling Sideways, this book is actually comprised of two of Holt's novels (more bang for my buck), and it was cheap.

2. W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence = Because it's "real" literature, I enjoyed Of Human Bondage which I read many years ago, and it was cheap.

3. Sophie Kinsella, Confessions of a Shopaholic = Because I figured I'd have fun confessing to the fact that I actually bought it, I hear it is funny, and besides, it was cheap.

4. Joe Haldeman, Forever Peace = Randal's pick. Because this is (apparently) one of Haldeman's best books, and it was cheap.

5. Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha = Because I have always wanted to read this, and it was cheap.

6. Pico Iyer, The Lady and The Monk = Randal's pick. Because Pico Iyer is just a good, good writer (I agree on this wholeheartedly), and it was cheap. It's also about Japan, incidentally.

7. Michael Ondaatje, Anil's Ghost = I convinced Randal to pick this one up, because Ondaatje is better than God. He was willing, because it was cheap.

8. Charles Bukowski, Tales of Ordinary Madness = Ummm, because Randal likes Bukowski? (I certainly don't.) Also cheap.

9. Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient = See Anil's Ghost above.

We paid 100 yen (about $1) for each of these. Sweet.

I have given up on the other books I was reading recently (though I plan to go back to Dogs and Demons, and probably Cryptonomicon, sometime soon, I never want to crack open the cover of The World is Flat ever again), and I have been devouring The English Patient. If you only know the movie, do yourself a HUGE favour and read the book instead. The movie blew chunks - a number of key things were changed from the book, and it just sucked. The book is magical.


And now, I must go decide whether or not I am recontracting to stay here for another year. My school is expecting a decision tomorrow, though technically I have until Friday to let them know. I need someone to cause a diversion, please!

Almost Famous...

We can't all be superstars like Elliott and get written up in the daily newspapers and be threatened to be interviewed by the local radio stations. But please, allow me my 15 minutes of fame.

In December, I spent two days "teaching" at the local special needs school. Many of the children there are very, very disabled, and teaching involved singing songs (Jingle Bells, anyone?), talking a bit about myself, and generally being genki (happy-go-lucky). A few of the children are less disabled and thus have some English ability, but the majority of them do not.

So I got written up in the (weekly? monthly?) newsletter to the PTA:



Then I went back to the special needs school for another two days in January. While my sojourn was generally treated with the same level of excitement from the teachers and students (Hokey-Pokey, anyone?), my presence in the PTA newsletter was somewhat more muted, though still deemed newsworthy:



Sadly, as I have not been as studious as I ought to, I really can't tell you what either of the newsletters say. I know the second one has something to do with the fact that when the principal (who makes the newsletter) asked me for a quote, I said something about the students always being cheerful, and that the teachers seem to do a great job of trying to ensure the students are happy and involved to the best of their abilities. That got in there somehow.

And now, speaking of being less-than-studious, I must finish my Japanese Language Test which is due in two days. I have left all the listening test portions till the end - ack!

Bali-ho!

We leave early this morning.* And that is all I have to say.**

In other news, tonight (Friday), we had our bounenkai at work, which is the end-of-year party. It was quite nice. We had Japanese-style dinner in a Japanese-style room. There was lots of food; I couldn't eat it all. It was (mostly) all tasty. Not much else to say other than, lots of food was eaten, lots of drinks were drunk, and there were many loud, red-faced Japanese people in the room before too long. (Those who are familiar with Japanese enkai will back me up on that point, I'm sure.)

* Please, no comments from the peanut gallery as to why, if we are leaving early in the morning, I am still up at this late hour. Pre-departure jitters? Hardly. More like unpacked bags (now packed) and Walkmans begging to be filled with music (not yet filled).

** I will do my utmost to post from overseas (can I be "going overseas" when, technically, I am already overseas?), but I make no promises that I will surface from my underwater explorations long enough to hit an Internet cafe.

Too funny not to share...

So I woke up this morning, breathing and alive. Good start to the day. Thanks to those who sent birthday wishes via email - much appreciated. I also got a number of funny e-cards. But the "Best. Card. Ever." prize is awarded to Erin in Nagasaki, who sent me this (make sure your speakers are on). It's too funny. I had to watch it twice. Then again.

My supervisor came running up to me in a panic midway through lunchtime today. When she saw I was still eating (egg sandwich - what can I say? I like to live on the wild side), she started to back off, but I insisted I could finish the sandwich later and what was up? She told me to come to the physics staff room. We literally ran there, and it turned out that some of the teachers had gotten me a cake! There weren't any candles (they found one later, though), so one of the physics teachers found one of those moving fibre optic lamps (with the poufy, long strands you can run your fingers through), and we turned off all the lights and pretended that was candles.

Tonight we are going out for fancy French dinner. I am just waiting for Randal to arrive (probably in about an hour or so).

Last day ever

Tomorrow is my birthday. And as Randal was sweet enough to point out yesterday, today is the last day of my twenties. Always full of reassuring words, that man.

It was fairly un-noteworthy. The only interesting things:

At the end of the day, as I was walking down the stairs to the parking lot at school, one of my first-years (I think) whizzed by on his bicycle. He always seems somewhat interested in class, but has never said boo to me. Today, he called out, "Bye!" Then, "See you!" Then, "I love you!" (I think. He was a little far off at that point.) I have apparently taught these kids all they need to know. :)

Then, about a half-hour ago, I stepped out onto my balcony to hang the laundry I had just finished doing, and as I went to clip a sock to the laundry hanger, I almost jumped off the balcony in fright as my balcony gecko had come back to visit and was stuck silently to the wall. Upon realizing it was a gecko and not Godzilla, I ran back in the room to get my digital camera, but by the time I got back out, he was gone. It made me think of the geckos in Thailand - they were everywhere, including probably 5 or 6 on the ceiling of the hotel room I stayed in in Chiang Mai. Freaked my roommate out, but I thought they were kinda cool.

Anyway, I plan to enjoy the rest of my last day ever by cleaning my apartment (Randal is coming over tomorrow - we're going out for dinner but then back here, so it should look somewhat presentable), eating instant noodles, and if I'm really lucky, playing some Rollercoaster Tycoon. A fitting tribute to the last decade that was. I'm sure I'll be dead of old age by the morning...

Be nice to the ghosties and ghoulies*

Halloween is not really celebrated here in Japan, though like so many other things, it is becoming more popular. I teach at a high school, so other than my Halloween-themed crossword puzzle in those classes lucky enough to have me the past two weeks (we've had a number of cancelled classes for some reason) and a Monster board game I made, the day passed fairly uneventfully. Heck - not that I searched high and low, but I didn't even see a single PUMPKIN that I was tempted to carve. I didn't even see a SINGLE pumpkin!!!**

I have never been a huge Halloween fan (well, I liked the candy aspect, of course), but here, in honour of the day, is a Halloween pic from days of yore (thanks, Mom!).


My first Halloween (not quite 3 years old). Awww.

I would have posted more pics but Blogger is cranky and isn't letting me. Anyway, there are more to be found on my Flickr site.***

My favourite costume ever was the one I did twice (almost ten years apart). I sliced off my head and served it on a silver platter. Runner-up is, I think, the year Chris and I went to the library school Halloween party (in 1999, my first year at Dal, incidentally) as a Hamilton small-time gangster and his moll (you can guess who was who, though Chris does look pretty good in my heels and skirts) - it was very simple, and I wasn't a particularly sexy moll nor Chris a very dangerous-looking gangster, but that was part of the laugh - no photo, sadly, unless Rebecca maybe has one? (I know there's one circulating out there somewhere. Though of course that year Michele totally stole the show with her awesome Boy George routine; I only actually was introduced to her the next day, when I ran into her and Stuart downtown, and was I ever SHOCKED that she was the same person! But anyway, enough library-school in-talk.)

Happy Halloween, all!


* Ghoulies, not Julies. But be nice to her, too.

** God only knows where Brian found his.

*** Those of you who care will also note I finally gave my Flickr site a proper name. Yay me!

Watashi wa ...

I had such a weird day today. Really up and down.

It started off badly. I got in to school early because I had stayed over at Randal's last night, and because of the bus schedule (I don't usually bike there anymore), I am always early when I do that (for some reason, there is a bus from his place twice an hour every hour EXCEPT between 8:00 and 9:00, where there is just one bus at 8:00, so I have to take that one, otherwise I will be late for work). I was in a bad mood - general discontent with Japan, etc. etc., kind of thing. Thursdays are also my busiest day; I have three periods in a row, a short lunch, and then a fourth, and I wasn't feeling totally up to it.

Partway through my first class, I remembered that today the entire school was going to see a play in the afternoon. So there would be no class that afternoon.

Partway through my second class, the teacher who I was teaching with took advantage of a lull when the students were completing an activity to write down the schedule for departures for the play on the board(students were either bicycling or walking over, as the prefectural Arts Centre isn't far away), and I realized the departure times started partway through my next class. Which I then realized meant that I had no next class.

Woohoo.

The depressing lunch (tiny salad and egg salad sandwich) I had bought on my way to school this morning turned out to be quite tasty.

It was really surreal seeing how this kind of school trip was organized - every single student went, plus most of the teachers; the theatre was booked entirely for us; the students, as I mentioned, made their own way over either on foot or on bike, without constant teacher supervision (though apparently the teachers did do roll call for each of the homerooms upon arival). They all parked their bikes in one of three temple yards near the theatre, with the teachers directing traffic so everyone parked in the same yard as the rest of their year. Like most things in Japan, crazy weird.

The play was quite good. Of course, I didn't understand a word, but I got the gist of it. It was about a famous wood-carver in the first part of the century who lived up in Aomori prefecture (northern tip of the main island, just south of Hokkaido) - his trials and tribulations, etc. It was a musical! In one of the main songs, where the woodcarver gets together with the woman who later becomes his wife, they sing a song that repeated over and over "Watashi wa" ("I am"), hence the title of this post. It was colourful and bright; it was fun - did I mention it was a musical?

Went back to school for about 20 minutes (we got back at 4:00 and I am supposed to work till 4:10) and then decided to go shopping at UniQlo, the place where all foreigners shop because it's the only place that sells clothes that fit us. (They are all across Japan and are kind of like The Gap but not quite as pricey.) Though my day had improved, I was still kind of in a residual bad mood. In Canada, the sure-fire way to improve my day was to shop for pyjamas (god bless Old Navy!), so I decided to do the same here (I wanted some warm ones for the upcoming winter anyway).

I bought two pairs of XL warm pyjamas and a pair of sweatpants. But Japan really needs to start making XXL size. XXL! Since when am I... Heh, welcome to Japan. Anyway, thankfully pyjamas and sweatpants are home-alone clothing anyway, because there's no WAY I will ever be seen in public in the clothes I just bought. (Too bad too - the PJs are really cute - one is a fuzzy dark red plaid pants with a pink long-sleeved fuzzy top, and the other is aqua pants and blue top. The sweatpants are just boring pale grey.)

Then I headed, on a whim, to the shoe store near UniQlo. I had been telling my supervisor just today that I really need some new shoes, since for some reason I only thought to pack one pair (of non-sandals or non-heels) for the ENTIRE year. I also had been telling her that whenever I go into a shoe store and ask the salesperson to see ANY shoe they might have in "ni-ju-go-han or ni-ju-roku" (25.5 or 26 - that's centimetres, btw), they usually laugh and then tell me "something-nai" (we don't have any).

Well, this store did. I tried on two pairs of knee-high boots - one slightly stylish but terribly practical pair and one pair that was much girlier though cool enough to be a biker chick in, though just a bit snug at the toes. I will leave it to your imaginations which one I bought. Trinity never had such good boots :) . I also bought a pair of black loafers - they have a bit of a heel but not a girly heel, so I can wear them with skirts (my current shoes look stupid with skirts) AND wear them when I'm bicycling (which I do a lot).

Then somehow I managed to get this all home on my bike. Not quite sure how I made it (I only have a front basket, and I didn't have my backpack with me today), but here I am, at home and in one piece.

I got home and there was REAL mail for me! At least, it was mail in an envelope with the address written by hand. But it had been mailed from within Japan and, as far as I could make out in the return address, also from Gifu. Well, I opened it and I am still slightly mystified - it seems to have something to do with the bills I paid at the convenience store the other day - there is a printout of the POS and then a lengthy handwritten note with a number of things circled, highlighted and underlined. Thank goodness my supervisor knows Japanese.

And that brings you up to date on my day.

Tomorrow night, I am attempting to establish a bit of a social life - I have been invited to a fondue party at the house of a girl I know. It will be me and a bunch of crazy party-loving Brazilians. Somehow yes, this is very Japanese.

That is all.*

* Till I think of something else.

Best. Story. Ever.

Today I had a bad last class. The teacher had been convinced going in that his class would not like my lesson plan (storytelling, capped off with them writing a traditional Japanese story in groups of 3 or 4), and as is wont to happen, that became a self-fulfilling prophecy as he did nothing to encourage the students to participate, despite occasional flickers of interest on their part. I was grumpy-grumpy. I went to my ESS club (English Speaking Society, though the moniker barely fits at times), where we had a great game of Scrabble,* then back to my desk fully intending to grab my stuff and go home grumpy.

But on my desk was lying one of the stories written by some of the students in today's bad class. (I gave them extra time to finish their stories, with instructions to drop them off at my desk within the next day or two.) I remembered this group, a bunch of geeky-looking guys in the corner who had not progressed any further than "Once upon a time, there was" about two minutes before the class was to end, and who were anxiously poring through their electronic dictionaries for inspiration (and vocabulary).

And wow. What a story they wrote for me:


Once upon a time, there was bean-jum bread man.

"I am bean-jum bread man! Do you know me? If you don't know me, please search by the Internet."

Then, the "virus man" appeared. "Ha hi hu he fhooooo!"

And he took a strange gun - those who are shot become hungry - out, and shoot at citizens. The gun's beam made citizens hungry, so they fell down. Then, "Wait! Virus man!", bean-jum bread man arrived there.

"I'm right man. I hate bad man, like you."

"Be silent. Don't disturb me! This is my dream. My company sell grocery. If citizens become hungry, my company prospers."

"Pardon?" bean-jum bread man said. And he took flame gun out and shot him.

"Fire! Oh noooo... Heat is sore spot with virus."

However, citizens were still hungry. "You should eat my face," bean-jum bread man said. They ate him face, and finished eating, they noticed bean-jum bread man were still dead.

Brave bean-jum bread man died, but his taste remains in their memory forever.


Honestly. Just. Freakin. Awesome. They are getting 10/10.

It made my day so worth it. This is the story I will show to the teacher when he says again that his class is not so interested in my activity this week.

Turns out brave bean-jum bread man is in fact Anpan Man - anpan translates to bean-JAM (not "jum") bread - a Japanese cartoon character of long standing (around since 1968 and still going strong), and you can read all about him here. CLICK THAT LINK! :)


* The Japanese do everything differently. For Scrabble, we all started with 7 letters like usual, but the point was to combine all 7 letters on the desk in front of you into one or more words (as if it were your own private Scrabble board). First person to do so "wins" that round, and the rest have to take an extra letter. You can make new words each round (ie., you do not have to keep words you have already created). And so on. I busted one of the second-years for trying to spell words the Japanese way - "gavament" turned out to be how she thought "government" was spelled, "hangly" for "hungry" - I felt bad because I couldn't stop laughing but luckily she thought it was funny too when she found out the proper spellings.

Just when I thought I'd seen it all...

In one of those classic "oh my god WHY don't I have my camera here?" moments, today I took a double-take when looking at the contents of my school lunch. "Um, Hattori-sensei," I whispered to the teacher who sits next to me in the staffroom, "my lunch is looking at me."

She couldn't stop laughing. For part of today's school lunch we had a little salad of what I had initially thought was that skinny, shredded up lightish-coloured nori (seaweed) that they seem so fond of here. As I was about to dig in, I realized the nori had eyes. Then I realized the nori was, in fact, little skinny fish. With little beady eyes. Yup, we're definitely no longer in Kansas, Toto.

After she stopped laughing, Hattori-sensei told me the name of the fish (which I now forget, of course) and advised me it was delicious and that she eats some every morning for breakfast. I bravely tried some. And you know what? It wasn't half bad.

At the grocery store tonight, however, when I happened to notice package after package of the same little beady-eyed fish, pre-wrapped and ready to go, I must admit I kept walking. I'll stick to cereal for breakfast for now, thanks.

No one must ever know about this...

Today we went on a school trip. All the second- and third-graders were going to Kyoto, and the first-graders to Takayama. I accompanied class 2-2 to Kyoto. We took a bus. I was warned ahead of time by Hattori-sensei, the homeroom teacher of 2-2 who is also an English teacher, that the students might ask me to sing on the bus. So I have been busy the last few days reviewing words to songs like "Kumbaya" and "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", maybe even "Hey, Jude"... you know, the kind of songs students sing on long bus trips to pass the time (3 hours to Kyoto).

Wrong. I forgot Japan is the future.

The bus was equipped with karaoke. There were plugs every few seats for the mikes (2), so everyone could easily have a turn.

I managed to slip unnoticed through the morning karaoke. But in the afternoon, on the way home, I woke up from my nap JUST in time to be forced to lead a rousing karaoke rendition of the only English song of the day, "My Heart Will Go On." Yes, the Titanic theme. Yes, by Celine Dion.

The only worthwhile contribution to the state of the world from this whole karaoke fiasco was that, afterwards, Hattori-sensei told me that I had shattered a stereotype for her - she has heard four previous ALTs do karaoke, and she has assumed that foreigners must not be able to sing since they were apparently ALL terrible. (Japanese take their karaoke seriously.) It only occurred to me later that perhaps the absence of beer on the bus (and we hadn't even had a chance to take all the bottles down and pass them around!) could have had something to do my ability to stay (remotely) on key.

There are, fortunately, no pictures or video of this event to prove that it happened. So I deny everything.

And now, please excuse me: I must go wash out my mouth my soap, many, many times.