once upon a time, a gnome went to a quiet garden to muse about the meaning of life.
but suddenly, the garden gnome started to think that maybe this wasn't such a nice, innocuous garden after all...
time to take matters into his own hands.
... and the gnome flees the awful scene on his trusty bicycle before the police arrive on the scene.
many animals came to pay their respects to the fallen plant monster. their sympathy was tempered, however, by the ghosts of cows that the plant had consumed.
eventually the site was abandoned, as it gave everyone the willies, and signs were posted to keep out.
land prices later skyrocketed, however, and an enterprising developer built fancy condos on the site. rumour has it the beckhams and cruises have both bought units, perched high on the edge of beautiful hatchet lake.
meanwhile, somewhere in southern manitoba...
but in the end, as is their way, the mounties got their man.
his plea of self-defence having failed, he was locked away in a high-security facility with other gnome miscreants, where he is likely to stay for a very long time.
THE END [2]
And now you know, my faithful readers, why I have not been blogging these past 6 months. I've been very, very busy.
Some of you may have thought, "But you went to France this spring! You spent weekends this summer camping! Fall ushered in Thanksgiving turkeys and Christmas trees and snow! People have gotten sick[3], people have gotten engaged [4], people have had babies[5]! Surely some of this was blog-worthy!"
... I understand that it was tempting to think my life is otherwise interesting. Yes, you'd think these things were blog-worthy, but well... ... ... For starters, we haven't even had any snow yet. I mean, c'mon. What else is worth writing about besides the weather?
[1] Yes, groan. But as a former communications/media studies person, I think I'm allowed.
[2] For now. Who knows what might happen when/if the gnome gets day parole? Also, I think this means I have to stop teasing my mom about her elaborate Webkinz stories, right?
[3] Not me, though both Randal and Rion have had that honour, to mention but two within my immediate household.
[4] Also not me, though my good friend Rebecca T. falls in that camp.
[5] Definitely not me, though a few people I know fit that bill, not least of all my good friend Mark and his wife Amynah who are expecting a baby girl literally any day now.
